


What Do You Mean, Good Omens?

by GrayTheAceOfSpades



Category: Crime In The Demon City, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-12 13:38:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19133134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayTheAceOfSpades/pseuds/GrayTheAceOfSpades
Summary: A Good Omens AU which is written somewhat close to the style of Good Omens but very much long winded and not as confusing. Also Winn and Jesse are pretending to be children in order to watch the Anti-Christ and so that Winn can keep a close eye on his humans.





	1. The Purposes of God's Favorite Set Of Twins

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Good Omens it belongs to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet
> 
>  
> 
> Also it's a very good book and show

When Jesse and Winn popped into existence, the first thing they saw was each other, which in the grand scheme of things was rather sweet. But as was the will of God, the two siblings came into the world together so it only made sense they saw each other first. They were in the place where angels were formed and they had no idea what a big part they would play in The Plan. Then when they had finally gotten their bearings, they felt a purpose bury itself in their brains. Now God may have gotten this switched up, if you ask any of the other angels, but if you ask God herself she will say “Why no, I believe I got it correct seeing as I made them specifically for their purposes.” And then she will probably pat you on the head and send you on your way, had she been a corporeal being. Alas she wasn’t so she settled by giving you a lollipop and poofing you shere you most wanted to go, which could be quite inconvenient for some people. Some people would end up back home and others halfway across the world in nothing but their night clothes. Anyway, back to the twins. They were the first twin angels to ever have been created and they were practically indistinguishable, the only difference being the chest area and the hair length. Where Winn had slightly longer, shoulder length hair that curled at the ends, Jesse had hair that when wet barely reached her eyes and stuck up wildly when it was dry. Now in all of that mess of a paragraph you may have read something about purposes and The Plan. We’ll get to The Plan later, but the purposes, now, they were really quite special.

Winn’s purpose, as told to him by God, was to go to earth and watch over humans; Two very specific humans. One was named Mia and the other was Liam. Jesse’s purpose was much simpler; Become a demon. This was surprising to the rest of the angels because Jesse was very well behaved and loved humans, while Winn was very opposed to the rules of heaven and had a very strange disliking for humans that he never could justify. So when Jesse fell from heaven and became a demon it very much surprised everyone, except for Winn who knew exactly what she had done, and the angels mourned for a fallen comrade that they believed was perfect in every way. What they didn’t see was Jesse’s hatred of everything that had to do with heaven; Except her brother. The angels also didn’t see Winn’s jealousy of humans and how they got to live. So when Winn got to earth to protect the ancestors of the two humans assigned to him he was very happy as he got to live as a human for a bit and when Jesse got to Hell and was immediately assigned to earth she was very happy to see her brother and not be confined to the rules of heaven anymore.

And that brings us to our current predicament. Jesse had been called upon by the lord Satan himself to deliver a package to a hospital and she had a bad feeling about what this meant. When she reached the usual meeting spot her fears were confirmed. A small basket sat on top of a headstone and from it came the frightened cries of a newborn.

“Damn it all,” She muttered under her breath, “Now we have to deal with this little shit.”

She made the baby switch herself to ensure the child would be raised in an actual family and not the broken system that is foster care. And that was the beginning of the end of the world. Meanwhile Jesse’s brother was currently finding a suitable form in order to start his observation and protection of two humans that had recently been born to two mothers that just happened to be best friends.


	2. The Five of Them

These best friends were named Alice and Quinn. They had grown up together in a small town named Rye, born to two mothers that were also best friends. See they came from a long line of best friends that managed to have children on the exact same day and live right next to each other in that small town. Some may call this a miracle but Jesse, knowing better than some, called it her brother’s meddling. So as it were this tradition continued until Liam and Mia were born in the same town, in the same hospital, and only one rooms apart. Only this time the mothers had had a third friend, making themselves a trio, and in between Alice and Quinn had been Jayden, also giving birth to a beautiful baby. And as this was the only time in a long history of best friends there had been a trio, Winn had not regulated Jayden and had left her to her own devices which had led them here. As Jayden had been unregulated, Winn had not told Jesse about her so when Jesse switched the babies, she had just so happened to choose the room in between two mothers named Alice and Quinn. So now we have the Anti-Christ being raised by the third best friend of the mothers of the two humans that Winn was assigned to watch over. Meaning the Anti-Christ will have practically have two siblings already which will turn into four when Winn drags Jesse along to help him manipulate Jayden into ‘adopting’ them both, which she only went along with because he told her it could help them keep an eye on the Anti-Christ while Winn fulfills his purpose.

So, eighteen years later brings us to a group of five kids sitting in the middle of the woods in an obviously hand made hideout. Two of them seemed a bit older if only by a few years, and they were obviously twins, one had slightly longer, shoulder length hair that curled at the end, the other had hair that wildly stuck up and was barely to her eyes when it was wet, both of them had hair that was so blond it was almost white . In between the twins was a tall, skinny boy who was leaning slightly on the twin girl. His hair fell into curly ringlets that curled around his ears. To the right of the twin boy was another girl who looked shorter than the rest of them, her hair fell in a dark braid down her back as she looked on at what was happening in front of them. What was happening was a very long winded explanation of why going on a road trip was the best thing to do at that point in their lives, the young man giving the speech was tall with gray eyes and hair the same color as the twins. 

“I’m just saying that if we don’t go on a road trip now, we’re going to drift apart and I don’t want that to happen!” He turned to face the group.

“Grayson that won’t happen. You need to calm down.” The female twin, Jesse, spoke up.

“You don’t know that Jesse! What if this year finally breaks mom’s and Aunt Alice and Aunt Quinn’s weird luck!” He frantically waved his arms about and continued pacing.

The girl on the other side of the twin boy, Mia, sighed and stood up. She grabbed Grayson by the shoulders and looked him in the eye, “If that was going to happen, then Jesse and Winn would have already moved away.”

Grayson looked at his siblings and looked at the ground, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But this is my last big thing before I go to Uni.”

Winn and Jesse cringed inwardly and exchanged a glance but didn’t say anything. Mia had got Grayson to sit down again and the group was sitting in silence. You see this group has been together for years, the whole town of Rye knew about them. Ever since the younger trio had been old enough to walk, the twins had taken them on ‘adventures’, meaning they would walk around the town and make sure they didn’t die. Everyone in town knew them because everyone in town knew their mothers, everyone knew their mothers because everyone knew their grandmothers and so forth. The town also knew that nothing could ever pull the five apart, even the dreaded university days. Although, Grayson was the only one who had decided to go. 

When Jesse and Winn reached what Jayden thought was eighteen she allowed them to open a business and, like a miracle, it became extremely successful. When they were old enough the trio all got offered jobs at the company, high-paying jobs that catered perfectly to their individual strengths, and they all accepted except Grayson. But now Jesse and Winn are preparing for the end of the world. In just five days the world is set to end, by Grayson’s hand. When Grayson turns eighteen he will come into his powers and destroy the world.

Liam tapped Winn and signed to him, ‘Tell him to stop complaining about it. It’s getting annoying.”

“Hey Gray, Liam says you’re getting annoying.” Winn said.

“Yeah yeah, he told me yesterday, and the day before that, and every time I talk about this.” Grayson sighed as he laid down on the blanket they were sitting on, “I just want to be ready, ya know?”

“Yeah bud, we know.”Jesse spoke for all of them, but the words weighed the most on Winn.


End file.
